We Almost Didn’t Make It: How Our Marriage Survived When It Shouldn’t Have

Are you secretly wondering if your marriage can survive?
Are you lying in bed next to someone you love… but he feels like a stranger to you?
Are you asking yourself, “Is it too late for us?”

I don’t know what you’re walking through right now.

But I do know this:

No marriage is beyond fixing.

And I don’t say that lightly.

I say it because mine almost didn’t make it.

We Got Married Young… But We Weren’t Ready

We were 26 when we said “I do.”

We loved each other. We were committed. We believed in forever.

But instead of building a foundation… we escaped.

Instead of preparing for a future… we drank.

Instead of healing from our past wounds, and the new wounds we were creating together, we numbed them.

We didn’t know how to communicate.
We didn’t know how to repair.
We didn’t know how to grow up inside our marriage.

So we avoided.

And avoidance slowly eroded everything.

When Our Daughter Was Born, We Still Weren’t Healthy.

By the time we were 33 and welcomed our daughter, we should have been mature adults ready to lead a family.

But emotionally?

We weren’t ready.

We fought.
I threatened.
We gave each other the silent treatment for days.
We were miserable more often than we were happy.

And yet…

There were moments.

Moments where we laughed.
Moments where we felt connected.
Moments that reminded us of who we used to be.

Those moments gave us hope.

If you’re struggling right now, hold onto this:

If there are still good moments, there is still something to build on.

The Turning Point: Doing the Work We Avoided for Years

Our marriage didn’t magically get better.

There wasn’t one dramatic movie-scene breakthrough.

There was work.

Hard conversations.
Owning our part.
Healing childhood wounds.
Learning how to fight fair.
Choosing connection over ego.
Choosing sobriety.
Choosing growth.

We stopped blaming and started rebuilding.

And slowly, painfully at times, we created a marriage we never imagined was possible.

Not just surviving.

Thriving.

This Year We Celebrate 20 Years

This year we celebrate our 20th wedding anniversary.

And sometimes we look at each other and say,

“Babe… we almost didn’t make it.”

We’re not naïve about that.

There were seasons when it would have been easier to walk away.

But we are deeply grateful — to God and to each other — for seeing a future for us that we couldn’t see for ourselves.

What we have now isn’t perfect.

It’s better than perfect.

It’s honest.
It’s safe.
It’s strong.
It’s earned.

Can a Broken Marriage Really Be Fixed?

If you’re searching Pinterest at 11 PM wondering:

Can my marriage be saved?

How do I fix a marriage after years of fighting?

Is it too late to turn things around?

Hear me clearly:

A strong, loving marriage is still possible for you.

Even if you’ve said terrible things.
Even if there’s been distance for years.
Even if you both feel tired.

If two people are willing to grow, healing is possible.

But it starts with honesty.

It starts with humility.

It starts with someone deciding, “I’m going to do my part.”

If You’re in the Thick of It Right Now…

I don’t know your specific story.

But I do know this:

What feels hopeless today doesn’t have to define your forever.

The version of your marriage five years from now could look nothing like what you’re experiencing today.

Sometimes the marriage you’re fighting for is on the other side of the hardest season.

And sometimes… the almost-breaking is what breaks you open enough to build something stronger.

If this resonates with you, I would love to hear your story. You don’t have to walk this alone.

XO,
Alma

Important Note:
I am not condoning abuse of any sort. If you are experiencing physical, emotional, or psychological abuse, please seek professional help immediately. Your safety matters first.
 

Take our quick FREE quiz below to uncover how you default into familiar patterns during disagreements and how you can foster a healthier dynamic!